


Out of Control

by goosebxrry



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: also that he was an admin in evo, although idk if thats a headcannon or not, and ender!xisuma, angst and also comfort, anyway i had this idea and ran with it, basically all the hermits, he literally has void in his name, i think it came out pretty well, ofc u do, watcher!grian mention, yeah remember tag two electric boogaloo?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goosebxrry/pseuds/goosebxrry
Summary: Xisuma’s magic has been repressed for far too long, and it’s just about ready to burst.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> again, a slightly older work but its good so im posting it here. i really like the idea, at least (o^^o)

Everyone knew Xisuma had Ender magic.

It was a bit of an open secret that his admin powers were just a slice of his potential— not that he’d ever willingly use his Ender magic. He refused to, never saying why but adamant nonetheless. Not a single hermit had ever seen his true, raw, power before.

Of course, curbing anything like that would build up energy that could burst like a pipe full of water.

▽

It was right at the end of Tag 2; Electric Boogaloo. Xisuma and Keralis were waiting for their opponents when an arrow flew past their faces, both of them spinning around to see False with her sword, bow and shield.

She notched another arrow, taking aim once again. Both men dove for cover, Xisuma reaching for his ender chest to get his own shield. Why hadn’t he thought of that?

Five minutes later, he and False were standing opposite each other with drawn swords. He’d gotten in a few good hits on her, but her bow had knockback. Arrow wounds and shafts covered Xisuma’s exposed skin.

She suddenly lunged and Xisuma dodged shakily. Adrenaline was rushing through him. Somewhere nearby, Keralis was fighting Beef, unable to help for the time being.

And something clicked.

It was like a flashback, terror circling his mind and encasing him while images flashed in front of him of actual fights and blood and death. His vision blurred red, and suddenly he wasn’t in control.

He swung his enchanted blade wildly but with precision, getting hit after hit on False. Her eyes widened and she tried to block, but he got in the final hit to her chest and she faded to red, disappearing as she respawned.

“I... I killed Falsie!” He blinked, regaining his body, his heart racing from its spot in his throat. He laughed almost manically, raising his sword. What was that? He pushed the worry to the back of his mind as he heard footsteps coming up from behind him.

The fight continued, everything going normally and very well for Team Bee. They ended up underwater at some point, but other than that it was just the usual fun PVP.

Xisuma emerged, running over the grass and mycelium while he shook the beads of water from the fabric of his clothing. Most of his armour was water-proof, thank Notch, so it wasn’t too difficult to move nor heavy.

Then it went downhill.

False caught up to him, pulling a scream from his throat as she ripped open his back around his chestplate. He spun around, getting a kick to the chest and a sword to his throat.

“I’ll take that tag, thank you!” He grinned, raising the diamond sword high above him.

And again. It happened. The first time it had taken him by surprise, but this time he felt it coming. The feeling was something suppressed, something he hadn’t felt in ages and something he hoped he wouldn’t ever have to feel again.

Ender magic bubbled through him, starting at his chest and rippling through him. He panicked, trying to shout and warn her— but he had already lost control. He knew it was supposed to feel like you were sharing consciousness, but this was different.

He was helpless.

His vision blurred again, a magenta tint covering everything. He knew his eyes were glowing, he knew the trademark Ender particles were starting to appear at his fingertips— and he couldn’t stop it.

First, False was thrown back into Stress’s tree, her sword clattering away. She ran to grab it, but Xisuma— or, well, it wasn’t really him, was it? —was already leaping forward to intersect. He slashed her once, twice, blocked the third time. She took a step back to rethink her tactic.

Surely they could tell this wasn’t him.

Surely.

But it all continued. He must’ve killed False at least four or five times in the next ten minutes alongside Joe and Beef. Nobody seemed to realize how dangerous the situation was, that Xisuma wasn’t even vaguely in control of himself.

Finally False submitted to tactical retreat, holding up her hands. Beef and Joe followed suit.

“Shashwammy, we— Ow!” Keralis had run up behind him, pulling him into a celebratory hug only to be pushed away and held at knifepoint.

Xisuma felt the power receding; even with it, False was a spectacular fighter and got multiple hits in on him. He managed to get in a few words.

“This isn’t me!” He screamed, his voice distorted and layered. False’s head shot up from where she was getting her things and Keralis backed away with a jump. Xisuma swung at him.

He backed away further, hesitantly drawing his own sword. Xisuma tried to give chase but two pairs of hands held him back. He squirmed in their grip, feeling a potion shatter against his back.

“ ‘Suma, what’s going on with you?” False’s voice was muffled as though he was hearing it through a pane of glass. His knees felt weak and his head felt heavy; that must’ve been a weakness potion.

He lashed out one last time, his arms swinging his blade without aim towards anything in particular. Is this what his life would be? An image of his brother came to mind, wearing red armour with his snowy white hair.

He slumped backwards into False’s arms, Joe grabbing his sword and shield from his limp hands. He shut his eyes. Between the potion working against his health and the fresh wounds, hr couldn’t keep up the consciousness.

▽

He woke slowly, his body absolutely aching and head spinning. The ceiling duplicated and swung in his vision to make him feel even more nauseous than the memories alone.

“Shashwammy? Is it you this time?” Keralis’s voice came from his left, (or was it his right? He couldn’t really tell.) muffled and quiet beyond belief. Xisuma blinked, squinting. He wasn’t that out of it. He raised his arm to his helmet, clicking at a button.

“What was that?”

“Is it you?” Keralis’s voice was louder now. His helmet hadn’t been working properly. At least now he could hear. If only he could stop his vision from dancing with a click of a button, the wistful thought crossed his mind as the ceiling swayed.

“I— I think so,” Xisuma tried to sit up but found that he was tied down at his abdomen. He glanced worriedly at Keralis. Had he done something?

“Nope, we’re being careful though.” Keralis seemed to read his mind. He sighed in relief. The situation could have been much worse, at least his powers had been diluted from the already existed wounds when he first started loosing control.

Xisuma sighed.

“What, worried you’ll become like me?” An unmistakable familiar and distorted voice appeared from behind him. Xisuma jumped, spinning around best he could and shooting a wave of energy in that direction. Ex wasn’t there, though.

“Agh!” Joe slid backwards and hit the wall with a thud. He groaned. “Xisuma?”

Xisuma felt his heart sink further into his stomach, pure guilt drowning him. Keralis’s hand on his shoulder turned into a vice grip of something he’d refused to let escape from the dark recesses of his mind. Iskall, standing up, suddenly flickered back and forth from his fellow hermit and friend to a hostile mob.

Xisuma’s heart raced, panic seizing him. What was wrong with him? Keralis’s muffled and worried tone was drowned out by blood rushing in his ears.

It was too much. This wasn’t real, but it was too much. He tried his best to keep his cool, not to use any of his repressed magic, none of his power— but his brother’s voice returned and he couldn’t stop himself.

“Coward,” Was all Ex said, but it was enough. It wasn’t like he was trying to prove anything, he agreed— but he was scared. Scared beyond belief.

A wave of violent and raw energy rippled out from where he was and he lashed out, backing up as best he could. He ripped the rope around his stomach, backing into a corner and setting up a small barrier block cube around him. 

A series of muffled shouts and yells were coming from outside, but he refused to open his eyes. His knees tucked themselves into his chest and he yanked off his helmet, tugging at his hair and sobbing into his hands.

Who knows how long passed before someone managed to do something, anything, to calm his nerves and get to his head.

That someone gently pulled his hands down from where they were ripping at his hair, pulling him into a hug and tracing calming circles onto his back. Their dusty-blond hair was curly and soft against his cheek and he opened his eyes for the first time. A soft red sweater was pressed against him.

“G-Grian? How’d you even get in here?” Xisuma’s voice was ragged from the sheer amount of sobs and screams that had been ripped from it in the last day.

“I was an admin in Evo, I can remember a couple of commands,” Grian explained quietly. “I teleported in.”

Xisuma tried not to focus too hard nor dwell to long on the explanation. Technically, that shouldn’t have been possible unless Grian was Ender— which he most definitely wasn’t —or something of higher power, which Xisuma wasn’t even sure existed.

Xisuma also tried to ignore the fact that, when he looked up, he met the collectively anxious eyes of every hermit on the server.

Not only had he injured multiple people, but he’d also broken (or, rather, completely shattered and crumbled) in front of everyone. Every single one of them had just seen him at his absolute worst.

“Try and match my breathing,” Grian said softly, exaggerating each intake and exhale. Xisuma obeyed silently, raising his hand to wipe a tear off his cheek.

A minute or so passed and Xisuma had just about gotten a hold of himself. His breath still hitched occasionally, but for the most part he was okay. Grian waited until he was completely calm before he continued.

“You think you’re ready to take down the barrier?” He asked. Xisuma hesitated, glancing behind him. Everyone was there. Were they going to be angry? Afraid? Would they even be able to look at him after it all?

“I...” Xisuma trailed off, his eyes stinging. Grian hushed him softly.

“It’s okay if you’re not. We want you to be prepared, no pushing boundaries.”

Xisuma forced himself not to start crying again, shifting ever so slightly. He reached for his helmet, sliding it on and adjusting the settings until he could hear, see, and be heard.

“I’m good.” Xisuma said, straightening out and pulling a screen of code to his visor.

The command showed on everyone’s communicator and he undid the blocks he placed.

The barrier evaporated, and a few cautious hermits stepped forward. The first to act were Joe and Keralis, both pulling Xisuma into an embrace. He flinched slightly, but when he realized it wasn’t a hostile action he melted into it. Keralis placed a kiss on his cheek.

Soon enough the other hermits were also gathering around, whilst also giving him enough space to feel comfortable, comforting him and reassuring him that they still wanted to be around him— especially after he let his worries slip out.

Maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad, after all


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xisuma’s been recovering from his outburst, doing what he can to avoid it happening again, and he remembers something— what was it Grian said to him, again?

Nearly a month had passed since the incident with the Tag 2: Electric Boogaloo showdown had taken place. The other hermits made sure to show that he was wanted and appreciated more than usual, but otherwise things were back to normal for Xisuma.

Mostly.

Keralis had insisted that Xisuma take at least ten to fifteen minutes of his day to just use his Ender magic, get comfortable with it, learn how it worked. At first he’d resisted, but Xisuma knew it was a good idea. Even if he hated the very thought of it.

So he’d found a far away place, far away from everyone, to do exactly that. Untouched land, uncharted territory; isolated and perfect.

Maybe he was being a little overly paranoid, but the voice in his head said ‘better safe than sorry,’ and he wasn’t risking hurting a hermit again. So every day, just after noon, he would fly nearly three hundred blocks in the nether to get there. Putting down the carpet path had been hell.

Xisuma sighed softly, clicking off his helmet and placing it on the grass. It was for his own protection against the harsher and thicker air of the overworld, sure, but it also acted as a bit of a barrier sometimes.

His fingertips flickered and he leapt into the feeling he’d begun to grow accustomed to once again.

He’d learned at least two things.

One being the realization his admin powers were actually much more connected to his Ender magic than he’d originally thought, making it hard to differentiate the two.

The other was that, by a long shot, the easiest specialization of Ender magic for him involved time. He could send himself forward and backwards, day to night, summer to winter then back again.

From the looks of it, he could do it just for himself or for everybody. It was of great interest to Xisuma and he’d decided it was his favourite out of all the powers he’d gotten. He used it more than anything else.

Xisuma smiled as he flickered through space and time in an out-of-body kind of way, something he’d started calling ‘Spectator Mode’, watching mega-bases grow up from the ground and sea at spectacular speeds.

And then that smile evaporated as he suddenly was back in that room, surrounded by his family, friends, and barrier blocks.

It happened far too often that he would randomly teleport to that place at that time. He would be only just opening his eyes, seeing Grian’s sweater and  
realizing who was in there with him, pulling him from his thoughts with a warm hug.

Except this time where was sound. That was new.

“G-Grian? How’d you even get in here?” His own voice sounded so terrible, he’d almost forgotten.

I was an admin in Evo, I can remember a couple of commands. I teleported in.”

He remembered a couple of commands.

Huh. Interesting.

Xisuma had completely forgotten about that interaction, about Grian’s peculiar explanation, about— well, about everything from that segment of conversation. He wasn’t usually so forgetful when it came to things like that.

Grian wasn’t Ender, that was obvious— but overworld and nether hailing admins can’t ‘remember commands’ after loosing their admin powers. That was unheard of.

Xisuma furrowed his eyebrows together and frowned, relocating himself back  
to where he had started and grabbing his helmet. He could go one day without exercising his magic, and Keralis wouldn’t be any wiser. It wasn’t like he could loose progress in that amount of time.

He flew through the portal and back to his base.

Grian, in Xisuma’s mind, wasn’t dangerous or anything. He didn’t really have a reason to be looking into it other than genuine curiosity, but the longer he looked through the code library the more he felt the need to work through it. He’d already put in an hour and a half, why back out now?

He wasn’t getting anywhere so he switched over to looking through Grian’s code instead. Maybe he could find answers there.

Xisuma tapped a button on his forearm, a screen appearing above it and slowly scrolling through the letters, numbers, and symbols that made up Grian’s player information.

Everything seemed normal for a while, actually. He was almost going to give up and look elsewhere when he spotted something strange.

The lettering wasn’t galactic, but it looked different and caught his eye. It glitched continuously and seemed to be constantly changing. He couldn’t read it if he tried. It definitely wasn’t a language he knew, though.

And, strangely enough, it was in the space where Grian’s species could be found. For the longest time he’d assumed— in fact, the first time he’d checked the code, back when Grian had appeared in the server, he’d only seen evidence for it— that Grian was human.

Irritatingly enough, the words wouldn’t clear up, so he pushed it to the back of his mind and kept looking. He could always go through the process of deciphering it if he didn’t find anything else.

A few minutes passed.

Xisuma was scrolling past Grian’s statistics, not expecting much there and having to do a double-take at the number of world-hops. Ninety-two? That was ridiculous! World-hopping was dangerous, even the admin knew better than to be excessive when it came to that.

If anything screamed suspicion, this was it. Even the glitchy letters in the species tab could have just been a very complicated error, but the number on Grian’s world-hop count didn’t change to something reasonable when he refreshed the page.

Ninety-two. The number bounced around his head.

He couldn’t fathom why someone like Grian had such a high number.

Part of Xisuma said to just casually mention it next time he saw the builder, the other half told him to actively seek out Grian and confront him. He wasn’t too keen on doing either.

The admin decided to meet somewhere in the middle and go find Grian but be as casual as possible. If he freaked him out, Xisuma knew he’d never get his answer. So he took off again, going over a possible few conversations in his head as he prepared.

Grian wasn’t at his mansion when Xisuma looked, but he was at the second place hr thought of; restocking his barge. It wasn’t really a barge, anymore; the Victorian-esque marketplace was coming along quite nicely.

“Hey, Grian,” Xisuma smiled as he landed. Grian spun around as he dropped a stack of blank maps into a barrel.

“Xisuma! Hey!” Grian shot him a smile, dropping the lid of the container and leaning his weight on it. He blinked expectantly as Xisuma hesitated, unsure what to say. “...You alright? Need anything?”

“Um, no, not quite...” Xisuma trailed off. He didn’t want to have this conversation in the shopping district. “I was wondering if you wanted to stop by for some tea?”

Grian’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he shrugged and said it sounded fun to him. He quickly finished his restocking duties before following Xisuma out and to his base.

They glided to the entrance, landing and stepping down the trapdoor to Xisuma’s kitchen. He started boiling some water as Grian sat down.

“So, Mr. Bad Liar, what’d you wanna talk about?” Grian asked, a mischievous smile going along with the teasing tone. Xisuma couldn’t help but chuckle softly as he turned, leaving the kettle.

“It’s about the evening after the showdown,” Xisuma started, shifting. Grian’s expression changed from a slight smirk to a soft frown with semi-worried eyes. “You said you teleported in, right?”

Grian’s expression changed again, this time taking on a mixture of surprise and... something that Xisuma couldn’t quite wrangle. Maybe terror, possibly even grief.

“I— well, yeah,” He chuckled nervously, fiddling with the hem of his sweater. “I mean, that was the only way in,”

Xisuma nodded. “I’m not upset, I’m just confused as to how you did it.” He said. “It shouldn’t have been possible, ‘remembering’ commands is rare on its own and pretty much exclusive to those who have Ender heritage.”

At this point, Grian looked like he was one second away from dashing. The man was evidently and obviously uncomfortable and nervous, looking anywhere and everywhere in the room except Xisuma.

“On top of that, I was looking through your code to try and figure it out,” Grian’s head shot up at that, his eyes wide. “and I discovered that you’ve world-hopped ninety-two times.”

“Er—“ Grian shifted, his eyes focusing on a very interesting shadow on the floor. “I can explain,”

Xisuma gave him an encouraging smilet.

“Uh,” Grian looked up, meeting Xisuma’s eyes. He cleared this throat, his airway closing up a little. “Have you ever heard of the Watchers...?”

▽

It took multiple minutes of panicked explanations and near nervous breakdowns on Grian’s part, but eventually he got his story across.

From what he understood, the Watchers were self-proclaimed gods that watched over servers and made sure everyone stayed in line. They’d showed up in Grian’s server years earlier, eventually taking him away and ‘accepting’ him into their ranks where they tried to make him into a watcher as well, altering his code to be like them.

“And then I ran away. I didn’t want that, y’know?” Grian wrapped his arms around himself a little tighter. “I ended up in Hermitcraft last season, just a random world to hide in. First one I saw.”

That explained the weird glitchy writing in his code, the ludicrous number of world-hops, the memories of how to use his long-lost (or, rather, not quite lost) admin powers, why he would never talk about Evo without nearly bursting into tears— everything clicked together.

For a brief second, Xisuma was almost upset.

Grian had come to Season Six to hide, not because they world-hopped at a designated time to continue their journey through the universe of Minecraft. He’d put every hermit at risk by doing that.

But then again, it wasn’t on purpose. He could’ve had the decency to say something, but maybe he was scared the hermits would throw him out.

“Also, if it’s possible, please don’t tell anyone,” Grian’s voice was quiet. Xisuma blinked out of his thoughts, looking up as Grian let out a hollow laugh. “I don’t think they’d be nearly as understanding.”

Xisuma’s eyebrows pinched together. “If you’re implying that they wouldn’t like you anymore, you’re wrong. You’re part of this family, Grian.” Grian looked up, his eyes watery. ”But I won’t mention it again if you want it kept a secret.”

Internally, Xisuma wondered if that was a mistake. These Watchers were dangerous, and therefore so was Grian. Even if it was an accident.

But when Grian smiled so gratefully at him and thanked him, he pushed the thoughts away. Grian seemed to be in complete control of his powers, he hadn’t had an outburst in the entire time he’d been part of Hermitcraft— on top of it all, he was responsible. Xisuma had nothing to worry about.

Nothing to worry about all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! This is the last chapter, but I think I pulled it all together relatively well. Thanks for taking the time to read!

**Author's Note:**

> idk if these show up at the end of chpt one or at the end of chpt two or both, so thanks for reading whichever chapter you read— especially if you read both >.>


End file.
